What Amazon told me today:

Your Amazon Today’s Deals Amazon App

Dear Bill Burkett,

We wanted to let you know that we recently updated our Conditions of Use.

One of our updates involves how disputes are resolved between you and Amazon. Previously, our Conditions of Use set out an arbitration process for those disputes. Our updated Conditions of Use provides for dispute resolution by the courts.

Please visit https://www.amazon.com/conditionsofuse to read our updated terms in full.

As always, your use of any Amazon service constitutes your agreement to our Conditions of Use.

Thank you,

Amazon

WHAT I TOLD AMAZON

YOU KNOW, I HAVE REALLY APPRECIATED AMAZON SERVICES DURING THE PANDEMIC. MOVIES AT HOME AND SHOPPING WITH QUICK DEPENDABLE DELIVERY MADE HIDING OUT FROM THE BUG NOT ONLY BEARABLE BUT AT TIMES PLEASANT. AT 77, WE HAD TO WAIT A LONG TIME FOR OUR SHOTS.

ALL THIS SAID, YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE EXPERTS SHOULD NOT DEFER TO YOUR DAMN LAWYERS IN ISSUING COMMUNIQUES LIKE THIS. THEIR LANGUAGE ALWAYS IS VAGUELY HOSTILE AND SNARKY REMARKS LIKE OF COURSE YOUR USE OF OUR SERVICES CONSTITUTES YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF ANYTHING WE DECIDE TO CHANGE SOUND LIKE THEY CAUGHT ME AT SOMETHING. OR PLAN TO.

I TRUST AMAZON BASED ON SUPERIOR PERFORMANCE.EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE. THE AMERICAN WAY. USED TO BE. AMAZON IS THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY SEARS ROEBUCK AND THAT IS HIGH PRAISE. YOUR LAWYER LETTER (BETWEEN THE LINES CONCEDING YOUR COMPANY CAN BE SUED IN PUBLIC COURT AND NOT ESCAPE BY SOME “MEDIATION” OR OTHER) IS NOT SUFFICIENT ANNOYANCE FOR ME TO DISCONTINUE YOUR OTHERWISE FINE SERVICE. LAWYERS ARE OUR BANE. PLEASE KEEP THEM IN THE CELLAR TILL NEEDED.